Two weeks ago I was sitting on a bench waiting for the bus to come. Just minding my own business trying to solve a Sudoku. An old lady sits down next to me and says: "Hello!" with a cheerful voice and tries to hand a flyer to me.
"No, thank you. I am not interested."
"Do you have the Holy Bible?" (same cheerful voice)
"No, I don't."
"Let me read you from the Holy Bible."
"Please don't, Mam. I am not interested."
"But I have to read to you. To save you."
"Do not read to me, Mam, and please do not save me."
Of Course she takes her bible out of her handbag and flips it open at the chapters of Revelation and starts reading out loud from it.
I, on the other hand, return to my sudoku and decide that nice looking "reli-grannies" are at the same level as mice: they look nice - some even cute - but in reality they are a pest.
To make a long story short, after her reading to me we ended up in a little argument and the conclusion that we will both end up in Hell: she for not respecting her fellow human beings and I because I am not saved.
A few days later I am waiting (whole different location) for the bus to arrive. I see three reli-grannies coming towards the bus stop. One walks to me with her arm stretched to hand me a leaflet. I turned towards her and start to growl. Softly first, then curl my upper lip, growl louder and finish it with a nice aggressive bark.
The woman jumps back, puts the leaflet in her handbag and returns to the other reli-grannies.
IT WORKS! Hallelujah!
From now on, whenever one of the reli-grannies comes to near me, I will bark at them. No more discussions, no more patiently telling them that I do not wish to be saved. From now on it will be:
"GRRRRR, WOOF WOOF!"